Slut shaming.

Slut. Above is the definition of a slut. Even the dictionary, albeit an online dictionary, states that a slut is generally a woman.
The second line from the dictionary states that a slut is a woman prostitute.. notice the woman entry there?
Who created this word and why does society use this to degrade and suppress women? At the end of the day it is just a word that society has created negative connotations around, it is not the word itself (although it does sound powerful and nasty when said) that is bad, it is our society.

I recently had an experience with a good friend of mine that left me feeling somewhat confused and angry. To sum it up, I had a rather loose night out, downed a few too many shots and had a blast. Some of my behaviour was inappropriate for the event taking place but my intention was pure. I never meant to cause harm or upset and god knows I have had many loose nights in my time but I just started to think about women and drinking and just how we are generally told to act a certain way all the time. I have realised that society has created a viewpoint of women and their behaviour that has eroded our thoughts on what is and isn’t acceptable.
We are women, we are PEOPLE and yet we are held to different standards than men. If a man walked around naked, did a nudie run, was walked in on getting changed, would he be shamed? No way! Everyone would laugh and it would be a story that would be told many times in the future for a good giggle. But a woman? Oh no, she is shut down, degraded, made to feel like she has to fit into a box and if she moves outside of that box, she is not a worthy person.

I am a little mad. I am mad at society for creating these rules and I am mad at myself for falling prey to this. I too have labelled another woman a slut, judged her on her profession, behaviour, sexual partners and dress code and I hate that I have and most likely will do again. Slut shaming is almost ingrained into women, we have been taught to devalue one another and discard any emotional thoughts on a woman that dares to break the mould in any sexual, promiscuous way.

What happened to the sisterhood? Women are our own worst enemies.. we complain a lot about men and the inequalities that a man made world has brought for us and yet we are so silent on our number one downfall – us. As a woman you are brought up knowing that you are not quite number one in the world and most likely never will be, even if you have amazing parents who support you and make you strong, you are continually fighting a battle. You learn along the way that men do rule the world and some women fight against that (kudo’s to these women, without you we would be nowhere) however most of us fall into the pigeon hole that has been created for us and accept our roles. Some of us are happy with our roles but others think they are because we have been taught that we should.

I am not a man hater and I don’t quite call myself a feminist so don’t think that this post is about how awful men are. This is a post about the world women are living in which through history has been dominated by men. Politics, business and the media are all saturated with males. This is great if you are a male born into this world and and I am happy that there are many role models for men out there and that men do not feel that nothing is achievable. It is vital that men feel strong and empowered, it is just as vital that women do too and sadly this world does not support this.

Men and women face different pressures in life, some harder than others and as a woman I do not feel that I can adequately illustrate the sufferings of man so I will leave that topic alone.
What I do know is that as women, we are told from the get go that we are not good enough. The media suffocates our minds with unrealistic expectations, conflicting images and advice on how to be and what to do. We are left in a giant puddle, drowning in the different messages thrown at us and unable to find our way out. We are left feeling insecure, lessened in our beliefs and value as a person wanting to be heard but not knowing how to be. On the one hand we are taught to be sexual, wear makeup, wear revealing clothes all for the attention of men. So we do this, we grow up wanting to be accepted and loved, we think our bodies can get us what we want and we use that to get us further in life and then we are shamed for it. Cast aside by our fellow sisters and used by the men as acting this way is not ‘ladylike’ or ‘acceptable’ or ‘wife material’. If we are taught to act this way and then shamed for doing this how on earth are we supposed to be?

We throw the word slut around these days far too often and easily, once is too much. How dare we label someone as being a slut for living outside of our beliefs! If a woman wants to dress provocatively then more power to her, I would just hope that she is a woman that is saying fuck the system, I am who I am and you cant stop me! I hope that she is not a woman following societies demands and expectations, feeling lost and alone inside and believing that male love is all that will make her worthy. And I hope that other women will start to look after one another, take a step back and think about why someone is acting or expressing themselves a certain way. We need to realise that we have been conditioned to hate one another, put each other down all in the name of, what? Men? Has the sisterhood died because we are placing our worth to the male species above our worth as people? What is wrong with us?
We must stop slut shaming, we must stop competing with each other and start enriching one another lives. The human body is the individuals to use, no one else has a right to decide how it is used. The sooner we realise this the sooner we will have peace.